They Sacrifice Virgins, Don't They?

This is when it occurs to me that this whole blogging idea might not be very kind of me. However, I couldn't have scripted a more entertaining outcome for my first dating experiment, I mean experience, so I am going forward. I will continue with my long standing radio tradition of giving these guys nicknames to protect the not so innocent. Or in this case, the very, very innocent. This guy will henceforth be known as Junior due to our age disparity.

Prior to arranging a date with Junior I had concerns that perhaps he was buying into Cougar propaganda. Oh Irony, thy name is...Junior. Point to Junior, the first words out of his mouth were that I look just like my picture. No false advertising here, I never understood the point of that anyway. Also point to him for looking exactly like his picture too. He's a cutie pie. We meet at Starbucks at 8:00, I like the idea of keeping it casual and stress free the first time out. 20 minutes into the "let's get to know each other" conversation the first bomb is dropped. He has NEVER been on a date before. Never. Recently one of my dear friends taught me a technique for not saying the first thing that comes to mind, he suggests singing a verse of Sailing by Christopher Cross. Inside my head: Well it's not far down to paradise, at least's not for me
If the wind is right you can sail away and find tranquility.  Then I am distracted by the idea that Junior probably wasn't even born when that song was out. Then I can't control myself any longer. How can I not ask? How is it that you have never been on a date? The only explanation offered was that he was shy. I was trying to be open minded, but this? The conversation resumes and shortly thereafter he also adds that he lives at home still. Of course he does. Why, why, why would you try going out with me? We discussed my age at length, so it is not like he thought I was 21. With that level of experience, and his housing situation, going much younger seems to be the best path. Anyhow, I wrap up the date as quickly as possible and as we are leaving he asks me out again. I tell him to text me tomorrow, thus giving myself time to compose a kindly written WTF text/message for him. End of date: 8:43.

Seriously, who thinks to question a potential date if they still live with their parents or if they have ever had sex before? This shit would never happen to Carrie Bradshaw. Clearly this isn't Sex In The City. Welcome back to the magical,mystical ride that is dating. All aboard!!