Getting MEAN On The Way To Cougar-town

Saturday date night, this time with John who is 11 years your than I. I felt badly after quizzing the first younger guy I went out with (Junior) so extensively. I assumed that due to our age difference he was quite possibly buying into the whole Cougar lore. So I preemptively and quite emphatically let him know that I wasn't looking for just sex. I am not sure why a woman would ever need a dating website to get sex anyhow. In Junior's case my assumptions turned out to be quite incorrect and I didn't want to make the same mistake again. So with John (this is his real name, why bother changing such a generic name), I just set up the date and didn't really discuss my long and short term goals. Why make things complicated?  I was just winging it, and I like things to move organically.

I met him at a bar, he was good looking, nice, well traveled and intelligent. He had great stories about his adventures to Africa and Australia that were quite interesting to me. After about two drinks, I bring on the MEAN. I capitalize this because MEAN is an acronym that stands for Manage Expectations About Night. MEAN is an ongoing operational procedure for me, wherein I explain to the target that I am not into casual sex but I do love to make out. If he not on board with just making out and wants to move on to another target, I give him the opportunity do so. I get that people are trying to get laid out there, and I'm cool with it, but it just won't be with me very quickly. Like every man that I have used MEAN on previously, he accepts my terms. Really I should say he accepts my challenge, because I do believe that half of all of them see it as a challenge to change my mind. This is not my problem. If they choose to believe that I don't mean what I say, that is not my responsibility.

We go see a band, we made out there, we sit by the pool outside where the band is playing, we made out there. Then in his truck a little more and then I was ready go home. Alone. I am not going to lie, I found the guy attractive. But that still doesn't change the fact that I didn't even know his last name, met him via the internet and I JUST DON'T DO THAT. He said he would be happy to tell me his last name and how is meeting someone via the internet any different than taking some random guy from a bar home? I agree that it isn't different at all, that is why I don't do that either. I know it is paranoid, but doing either of those things sounds like a great way to wake up with an STD and minus my kidneys in a tub filled with ice. Yes, I get that is a weird, extreme and oddly mixed fear. But it is always what I picture in my overly dramatic imagination. Setting that aside, it just doesn't sound like fun to me. Sex is fun (to me) when you know and like somebody. It's not a moral judgement, it's a comfort-ability thing. Anyhow he throws several consecutive "dude you've got to be kiddings" and "really dudes?" at me. Being referenced as "Dude" is a new experience for me, and quite off putting. Can I extra NOT sleep with this guy somehow??

Cue end of date. Time: 4 hours 15 minutes, souvenir: a white "club" rose. Yeah, they still do that, who knew?

Back to over explaining myself before the dates.

Because life is just THIS funny, this is the text I got right after I finished this blog. Gotta give the guy points for humor!