The Illusion Of Normal: Everything Is NOT As It Appears To Be.

Imagine for a moment that I was bi-racial, half African American. Genetics being what they are, it is theoretically possible for me to appear totally white. Imagine the comments that could be made in front of me because people didn't know WHO I was. This is the closest analogy I can think of for my situation. People who know me now, or see me in a picture, don’t know WHO I am. They only know the illusion of who I appear to be. To a certain extent that can be said for anyone. However, I feel like I am a more extreme case. Take a look:

This is from 10 years ago. I have continued to struggle with my weight since then, just not to that extreme, typically I have a 30 pound swing. Right now, I am down almost 60 pounds. While I am not skinny, I guess I am finally what you would call normal weight (less than 10 pounds overweight according to “the charts”). But this is still a huge (excuse the pun) part of who I am, how I see myself and how I perceive the world. The interesting part of this dating website is that they ask many questions about weight in their initial survey, so you can see what people think about the issue. Unlike racism, which is socially unacceptable, you can say that you wouldn't like someone based on their weight. So what do I do with information like this??

My initial reaction is to cross him off of my list of possibilities. How do fat people annoy you?  That is absurd.  However it occurs to me that perhaps I am being as narrow as I am assuming he is. It was a yes or no question, maybe fat people annoy him because they remind him that he has put a few pounds, it could be as simple as that. I try really hard not to fault people based on their preferences for a certain body type, attraction is a very individualistic thing. However, how do I weed these people out? Even though I hope to never be heavy again, I don’t want to be with someone for whom physical perfection is such a priority. So, I guess I should be thankful that people honestly answer these questions.  However, I feel like a fraud somehow when this kind of stuff randomly comes up in conversation. I AM this person you're talking about being disgusted by. Also, what if it never comes up naturally in conversation? Is their some screening questions I can ask to get a definitive answer so nobody is wasting their time?

Thoughts? Feel free to post back on Facebook if you don't have a google account. 

4 Dozen Cookies And 8 Pies

Welcome to The Dating Daytripper.

I decided today that I was going to start a blog about my adventures in dating. As with many of my life decisions, I ran it by Facebook for input from my vast array of "friends". Not regarding IF I was going to do the blog, but rather what I should call it. My favorite suggestion was from my former morning show partner, to call it "4 Dozen Cookies And 8 Pies". I loved this because the story behind it is wonderful insight into my personality.  Once, a relatively new boyfriend of mine was having a birthday soon and had remarked to me the previous birthday had been the worst of his life. As always, I jumped in with both feet and decided it was my personal responsibility to make this the BEST birthday ever! His one day was extended into an entire week of gifting. By the end of that week I had given him: 4 dozen cookies, multiple pies (I still hold firm that 8 is an exaggeration), flowers, cupcakes, and IPod and his favorite CD. This is very indicative of my all or nothing personality. If I am doing to do it, I am going to DO IT. Therefore, the very title of this entire blog, Dating Daytripper is my attempt at personal reform. I am not taking the world tour of dating, just taking the little day trips of dating and reporting back. 

I joined a dating website on Saturday. I have done this before, but this one is more interesting to me because it made me answer a ton of questions, then it judges me. See the graph below, the middle is normal.

While I know this isn't quite scientific, I don't find fault with their results. I do however see the humor in the fact that I am way below the norm in the romantic department. After putting my personality into a graph, it then tells me how similar all other people on the site are to me. This is based on how many questions that they answered as I did. I am shooting for at least 70 percent similar before agreeing to go out with someone. Unless they are hot. Really hot. Just kidding. But here is the interesting thing. I very rarely have people my own age reaching out to me on this site, the average age is about 27. I guess people think this cougar thing is a real phenomenon. I am going to be a disappointment on that front. On the positive side for them, I look just like my picture (it's brand new), I am sure that almost never happens.

This seemed like a perfect time to start dating again to me, quite simply because I don't care. I mean that in the best way. I'm happy, finally. I don't need someone, so I really don't take it personally when a guy isn't interested. Any outcome is interesting to me. I love to study humanity, and what better way is there to do just that than dating?

I am starting easy with my first date tonight, 29 year old Junior at Starbucks. This date was set up before I set my specifications of 70% similar. He is only 35% similar, and he's 29. Let the adventure begin, and as the picture above states, there will be no whining here!